Choose one of the mother-daughter relationships. Keeping in mind both of their stories, compare and contrast the mother and daughter. How are they different – and how are the cultures responsible for this? Despite different childhoods, how are the two they same?
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In the story "Rules of the Game", Waverly is very different, but yet the same in some ways as her mother. She seems to be a proud young girl, even sometimes a bit manipulative. she is proud of her winnings in chess, but doesnt like to show it off with vanity like her mother does. Her mother loves to show her daughter off, telling people how good she is, all the while implying that shes must have been a good mother to have raised such a prodigy. There is really nothing wrong with that to her, but Waverly doesnt like to be shown off to feed her mothers foolish pride. However, they are both very prideful, very manipulative, and very strong willed. They care very much about Waverly's chess, annoying Waverly with her constant attention and pride. They are both willing to manipulate those around them to get what they want, Ying-ying with her first marriage to Tyan-Yu, and Waverly to get her mother to let her go to the local chess competitions and to leave her alone. They are also very strong-willed, a trait Waverly attributes to her mother being born in the year of the Tiger. Due to this constant battle, due to their need to have their way, they do not always get along, fighting over little things.
An-mei Hsu and her daughter Rose Hsu Jordan have similar childhoods. In both of their stories, they have experienced something that scarred them for life. In An-mei Hsu's story it was seeing her mother be excluded from the family, and watching her slice her arm and put the chunk of skin into a soup. Rose Hsu Jordan's traumatic experience was having the responsibility of taking care of her younger brother, Bing, and turning around for a second only to miss watching him fall into the ocean and disappear. Both Rose and An-mei care deeply about their families, and they both listen to them. An-mei listened to her family when they told her to consider her mother as a "ghost". Rose listened to her family when they told her to watch her siblings and go on a search to find Bing. On the other hand, they are different because An-mei is more strict about a Chinese person marrying a Chinese person. She grew up in China where that was just expected of everyone. Also, the fact that arranged marriages were very common did not give women the choice to choose someone of another culture. Rose ,however, does not feel the same way. She grew up in America, and is used to being with a mix of different people. Their cultures made this difference because An-mei grew up in a more strict culture where it was just expected for a Chinese man to marry a Chinese woman. Rose did not grow up in an environment that was like that. She grew up in America: The melting pot. She was used to being with all different cultures everyday of her life. So when she started dating Ted, she felt totally normal, when her mother felt uncomfortable.
The stories "The Moon Lady" and "Rice Husband" show the differences between Ying-ying St. Clair and Lena St. Clair. Although the two are mother and daughter, they are very different. Ying-ying is a very conservative person and keeps to herself. This is showed by the lesson that she leared in "Moon Lady" when she fell off of the boat and almost lost her family. After that experience, she became quiet and shy. Also, she is a very supersticious person that believes in a lot of myths because she grew up in China and in Chinese culture they have a lot of mythical beliefs that she carried on to her adulthood. Lena on the other hand, is more out going and does what she wants. She expresses her feelings. However, Lena shares the same supersticious beliefs that her mother had. She thinks that her mother can tell the future based on what she sees. This is rooted in her childhood with her mother who must have implanted these ideas into her mind. However, she is still not as supersticious as her mother. This is because she grew up in America where there are not as many superstitions as China.
In the story "The Red Candle", the mother and the daughter have very different views on how they want to grow up. The daughter in this story does not want to be forced to marry someone she doesn't want to. As a result, she makes up lies in order to get out of the marriage. The mother, however, wanted her to get married to him and live that way. Culture is responsible for this because that is how the mother had always grown up and expected her daughter to be. Moreover, the daughter didn't want this despite how that is how it is suppose to be in their culture.
Even though Lindo and her mother are very different, they are also similar in some ways. They both know that they need to do whatever they can to be respectful toward their family and do everything they can for them. Even though Lindo needs to do what she can for her family, she learns that she sometimes needs to be herself and do what she thinks is right for herself. This is what made her blow out the red candle. Even though she blew out the candle, she ended the marriage honorably.
In addition to honoring her family, on page 40 Lindo says, "I had finally arrived where my life said I belonged" This was not her choice, but where her life was suppose to end up. She went against this eventually and did what she always wanted to do. Lindo's mother would have never done this.
The relationship June had with her mother, Suyuan, was difficult. They did not really understand each other. JUne did not understand her mother's hardship, what she went through in China, and the trauma of leaving her two daughters behind. June is very Americanized. She did not have the same honor for her family that her mother did growing up in China. In China, family honor and respect is different than that of Americans. Also, June thought that her mother was not proud of her and that she always expected more. But what June didnt realize was that her mother should have raised 3 daughters but instead only raised 1. She felt like she failed by leaving her other daighters behind and therefore she tried to make up for it through making June the best she can be, even if that meant they fought a lot. June was all over the place though. She never finished what she started. She played the piano and quit, she majored in art and didnt graduate, she majored in biology as well and didnt finish. This drove her mother crazy. But this was June's America way. Suyuan grew up obediant and loyal to her family but this means something different in American eyes.
An-mei and Rose both had somewhat similar childhoods. They both had some sort of traumatic experience. An-mei wathced har mother become a ghost to her family and Rose saw her brother fall into the water and die. They both experience a sort of loss of someone in their immediate family. The main differences in their childhoods would be the culture they were raised in. An mei believes a chinese person can only mary another chinese person. This is because that was how it was in her childhood in China. On the other hand, Rose has the more american idea that a person can mary whoever they choose no matter the class, or race. This mother-daughter relationship only has quarrels due to the differences in childhood cultures like most of the other relationships in the book.
Lindo Jong and Waverly Jong are a lot alike and very different at the same time. On similairty betwen both of them is that they are both very Lindo strong-willed women. This is because they were forced to do something at a young age which they didnt want to. Lindo JOng was forced to abandon her family and marry Huang Tyan-Yu, while Waverly was forced to continue playing chess. Lindo and Waverly are also very stubborn, because they both have ba hard time of changing their opinions about issues. For example when Waverly thinks that her mother is using her to show off, her mother doenst understand waverly's perspective and instead becomes furious. A difference between both of them is their culture, since Lindo was raised in CHina she is very suspicious and feels honoring their family is the most important thing. Waverly on the other hand after being raised in America she finds her mothers stupid and doesnt understand how much she hurts her mothers feelings when she tells her that she is embarassed by her. Their relationship can be seen as a constant battle because of their strong personalities they dont like to give up easily.
An-mei Hsu and Rose Hsu Jordan, like Erin said, are very similar. In An-mei's story she is "scarred" both physically and emotionally by her family. Her mother us shunned by the entire family and they don't like to acknowledge her existence, which is very hard for An-mei. Imagine growing up with no mother, knowing that she is still alive and well. An-mei gets physically scarred when her mother comes back and in the middle of the frenzy, boiling hot soup pours onto An-mei. Rose's traumatic experience was when she was responsible for her youngest brother, Bing, and wasn't able to prevent him from falling in the ocean. Both the mother and daughters experiences revolve around their families. Rose lost a brother, and An-mei lost a mother. In both stories, they feel they have the obligation to obey their family. However, although their childhoods are similar, growing up in different cultures has an effect on their opinions of marriage. An-mei believes that Rose should've married a chinese man, while Rose finds that marrying Ted, a caucasian man, more normal. They also have different views about divorce. An-mei believes that even though he is not her ideal son-in-law, Rose should do everything in her power to save their marriage. Rose, however, knows that it is over and doesn't feel the need to even try.
Lindo Jong was always bragged about by the village matchmaker as a strong young girl and beautiful. This is seen in Waverly's life as well when her mother bragged about her all the time for being a chess champion. Also, they both are very smart. Lindo was able to figure out a way to leave her horrible husband and go to America. Waverly was able to figure out ways to defeat her opponents in chess. The main differences between these mothers and daughters is the cultures they were raised in. Waverly has been more influenced by AMerican culture while Lindo has obviously been raised with the Chinese culture.
One of the relationships is found between Lena and Ying Ying St. Clair. Through the introduction of "Moon Lady", we discover that Ying Ying feels lost and unconnected with her daughter. Ironically, Ying Ying kept quiet for so long to prevent selfish desires, her daughter does not hear, see, nor understand her. Instead, Lena is wrapped up in the American mindset of materialism. She pays more attention to the order of her husband than she does to her mother. The cultural difference is shown through this relationship as Ying Ying doesn't understand the American ideal of materialism and names Lena's life foolish. In the "Moon Lady" story, Ying Ying makes a secret wish to be found when she is separated from her family. She finds that she still desires the same wish, to be found in her daughter's eyes.
Lena, on the other hand, feels as though she must hide from her mother. She knows her mother has the uncanny ability in predicting evils that affect the family. She tries to hide the evils of her marriage from her mother. Harold is the cause of her failing marriage, always ensuring everything has to be fair. Lena wants to fix the marriage of understanding the symbolism of a table Harold built, but she doesn't want her mother to understand the complex problems of her failing marriage.
In the stories "Scar" An-mei Hsu tells her story about how her mother was considered a ghost in their family and the few memories of her that she had. In "Half and Half" Rose Hsu Jordan tells the story of how she is going to get a divorce and how her mother tells her to fight it and Rose remembers the day that she lost her brother Bing. The mother and daughter are very different because they were raised in a different country and in a different time period, where the culture and the morals are totally different. An-mei Hsu grew up in a culture where family was very important and how you always have to respect your elders. IF you don't you have dishonored the family and will become a ghost like An-mei's mother. Rose grew up in America surrounded by many different cultures and ideas. Even though their childhoods might of been very different , one thing that they both share is the lose of a loved one. An-mei lost her mother because when someone is a ghost they aren't welcome back into their home. The only time An-mei saw her mother was when her grandmother was dying. Rose lost her little brother Bing. They were at the beach and Roses took her eyes off of Bing for one second an he fell into the water. They might not relate very well to each other but they both understand each other in somethings.
"Rules of the Game" and "The Red Candle" are two stories that are told by a mother and daughter. When reading each of them, certain points come through connecting the mother to the daughter even though they have different cultures growing up. In "Rules of the Game", Waverly is being forced by her mother to play chess and become a chess champion. For a little while, the reader can see Waverly is interested, but in the end, she refuses to play chess. She does not want to and she does not want her mom to force her anymore. Waverly's mom gets upset, however, she should know what it is like to be forced into something. When Lindo Jong was a little girl in China, she had a pre-arranged marriage set up for her and was forced to live with the family a time before she had to marry the family. She did not like this and she certainly did not like to be forced into something as she forced Waverly.
The culture can be responsible for this, and it is evident when Lindo got married in China, she got married to the family. It was like two families uniting together. Lindo learned to do everything as a family and have pride in the family. However, when Waverly got to the chess champion title, her mom bragged like it was her own title. In China, they accomplished everything as a family, and Waverly did not understand that because she was raised in the American culture.
Despite these two childhoods, the mother and daughter had one major similarity. This was running away when they felt they needed to. Waverly ran away from her mom when she would not stop bragging about her to everyone in town. She disobeyed her family, but her mom did not call her that. She simply said, "We not concerning this girl. This girl not concerning for us." This shows that the mother was not being disrespectful, but simply trying to isolate her to help Waverly learn what she has done. This ties in with Lindo leaving her married family because if their lack of respect for her. Lindo's mom told her to never be disrespectful to the family, so instead of running away, she made up a dream that was terrible that made the family get rid of her. The mother and daughter in these two stories are very much alike and different in many ways.
As we continue to read the Joy Luck Club, each stories can be compared to the ones of the mother, and to the beginning parables.
We have learned a lot about Lindo Jong and Waverly Jong, mother and daughter. Lindo told the story of keeping true to her family, and staying with a man she did not love for her family respect. Meanwhile, her daughter did the same thing for her family. She learned the game of chess and perfected it so this way she could represent her family proudly. However, when you see Waverly run away from home and scream at her mother, this was something completely opposite of what Lindo Jong was taught about family promise's. Her mothers culture was shown here when she was proudly telling people about her daughter, but her daughter was embarrassed. Lindo was taught as a child that if something happened to you, it happened to the entire family as well. On the other hand, Waverly was not happy of her mothers bragging of something she herself did, and made her mother aware of this.
As the stories are told you can see the different cultures and how they reflect on each women's personalities.
The culture differences between the mother and daughter of the Hsu's are fairly wide. An-Mei grew up very obedient and particularly fearful, while Rose had the fortune of being raised in a place of openness and cultural crossroads. However, They both have very similar backgrounds, similar childhoods. Both An-Mei and Rose had mothers that were very loving, but were also held back by something. Be it running away from family and not being allowed back or being held back by other children and the paranoia of the Twenty-Six Malignant Gates. They also both did not follow orders when it was most crucial. Rose took her eyes off of Bing, and An-Mei talked to her mother when she was told to act as if she was a ghost. Another important similarity is the loss that they have experienced, An-Mei's Grandma, and Rose's littlest brother, Bing.
Ying-Ying St. Clair and Lena St. Clair, although from entirely different backgrounds, are similar in a variety of aspects. The key attribute that they share is their quietness and passivity. Ying-Ying is quiet mostly because of her nurse-maids who told her not to express her feeling lest she be deemed selfish. This shows that Ying-Ying's personality is in many ways a direct response to Chinese culture, which encouraged women not to be needy. She then began to live the rest of her life like this. However besides just being quiet, there is a troubling aura constantly emanating from her. She constantly feels like there is a lack of "balance". Although she fell off a boat as a child, there is clearly one last secret hidden in china that has shaped her to be the way that she is.
Lena St. Clair is very similar to her mother. As mentioned before, she is, for the most part, quiet and passive. However a key event in her childhood help her overcome this, at least in part. In her new house in San Fransisco Lena hears a family arguing through the wall. Although arguing loudly is not to heavily looked down upon in American culture, this loud arguing comes as a shock to Lena who was used to being quiet and hiding her emotions from her mom. This American influence helps Lena partially overcome her quietness.
The mother-daughter relationship that is very important is June and Suyaun. A huge contrast between the two is how American June is compared to how Chinese her mother is. They also have different values and June does not honor her family the way her mother does. They both also have different ways of living life. The mother always wanted to make the best out of life and try her hardest to never give up. The daughter quit things very easily and never tried at things she didn't want to do.
An-mei Hsu and her daughter, Rose Hsu Jordan, are extremely different in personality, almost exact opposites. while An-mei is loyal to the ways of Chinese culture, Rose is free-spirited. An-mei learned from a young age to be loyal, especially to her mother, which is something that Rose does not adhere to at all. An-mei was taught by her estranged mother to always be loyal to her mother, as she cut a part of her flesh out of her arm. Rose does not have the same loyalty, instead defying her mother and going out with non-chinese men and other doing other tasks that would bother her mother.
One mother-daughter relationship that I found to be interesting was Lindo Jong and Waverly Jong. Both the mother and daughter are very different from eachother. Lindo is very picky about things and when she comes to visit Waverly she seems to critisce everything about her life. Lindo never likes any of Waverly's boysfriends or husbands. She constantly refers to the relationship with her mom as a chess match. She feels as if they are always battling against eachother and that her mother knows how to find her weak spots. Waverly doesn't stand up for herself. This is partially because they grew up in two different backgrounds and culture. Lindo is accustom to the Chinese culture of honoring family and sticking to tradition. Waverly is grew up in America surrounded by modern ideas and people. Despite their different childhoods when they put down their guards and communicate with one another, you see that they really do love eachother. They both care a great deal for their children and their husbands.
The relationship between Waverly Jong and Lindo Jong is almost always black and white. Lindo holds fast to her traditional Chinese superstitions and beliefs while Waverly sticks to modern American ideals. When Waverly wants to start playing chess again, her mother explains that its not as easy as she thinks, and her skill does not last. While they have different points of view, they both strongly believe in their ideals. Waverly plans an extravagant way to convince her mother that her fiance Rich is a good man. The plan involved tricking Auntie Suyuan to tell Lindo that Rich said her cooking was the best he ever had. This would cause Lindo to invite him over for dinner, and he would then compliment her cooking as the best, and everyone would be happy. A lot of time and energy was put into the plan, which ultimately failed. Lindo shares her passion for their own ideals. She refuses to acknowledge Rich's prescence in Waverly's apartment by dismissing all the signs of Rich living there as a dirty room that she should clean up.
Even though we do not hear Suyuan Woo tell a story, by having her daughter, June tell the story, we begin to see how their relationship was. June tells us that the relationship between her mother and her was complicated. In the story "Two Kinds," June explains how her mother pushed her to be a prodigy with something, but June always struggled to succeed. Her mother never let her give up and she continued to push her daughter. When June finally started to play piano and then eventually messed up, her mother still made her play. June did not understand her mother. Her mother wanted her to be an obedient child and have her be the best she could, but June just thought that Suyuan was trying to make her something she wasn't because she didn't like how she already was. June never finished anything. She troubled her mother by doing this and that's why her mother always tried to get her to pursue in something.
June was a very misunderstanding child, she didn't understand what her mother went through. That's why she snapped at her mother.
The Hsu family is a good example of mother and daughter relationships that are similar, and different at the same time. Like most of the stories, the mother and the daughter have experienced hardships in the early stages of their lives. An-mei's tragedy to see was when her own mother was kicked out of the family. This is not an easy sight to watch especially as a yound child. And when she died, that was an even bigger blow to An-Mei. Luckily, this only made her stronger. Rose on the other hand, experienced something terrible, maybe even worse then her mother. She watched her baby brother, Bing, die in the water. the mother and daughter are similar in the same ways that the are different. Although they experienced different tragities, they both experienced them in the long run.
One of the families that I liked the best were the Hsu/Jordan's. The mother/daughter relationship was very interesting, because the daughter did not know the mother until she was older. They are the same in that they are both very honorable to people. The mother came back in Scar while her mother was dying and paid her her honors, which showed that even though she was a ghost in her family she still cared. The daughter was very respectful towards her mother's choices at becoming a concubine, which shows how they are alike. They are different, though, in the way that the daughter is more foolish than the mother. This has to do with the culture because the mother, being Chinese, was brought up in a more traditional, strict way.
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